Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
