you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He has the fingertips of a God
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