So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
