to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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