do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
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Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
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He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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