She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
