Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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