Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...