Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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