the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize