if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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