this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize