Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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