Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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