the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize