i don't like sucking hair
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
