is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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