I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
