i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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