I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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