i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize