Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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