He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
True strength comes from lack of pants
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