I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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