I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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