I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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