Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
