tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
