So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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