We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
