i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
