Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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