So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize