Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize