first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
