I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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