yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
