the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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