i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
