So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
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Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
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Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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