she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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