I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize