I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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