I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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