Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
