do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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