I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize