so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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