Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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