where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
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it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?