just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
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Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
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Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.