Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude