This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.