To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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